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Sweet Memories of a Fake Love

I remember the low glow of the flickering fluorescent light in the concrete jungle

The way you walked beside me, letting your hand brush against mine

The pause you took just so you could look at me with that mysterious and loving look in your hazel eyes

The way you pulled me in close and kissed me softy when I asked what was wrong

I remember the pain you caused

The sleepless nights, the agony you created in my modest mind

The swimming pools I could have filled with my melancholy tears

The pounds that shed off of my body, the hours spent after every meal by the toilet because maybe then, I might become the doll made of glass you would never want to break

I remember the second chance given to you

That November night we stayed up till midnight in our fancy clothes and loved with our nicotine soaked breaths

The Christmas lights that wrapped around my fireplace, the smell of gingerbread and honey glazed smiles

The goodbye kiss in the car, not knowing it would be our last

I remember the pain I caused you

The fights we had about honesty and get love quick schemes

The distance I created because I wasn’t truly in love, just in love with idea of being in love with you

That rainy February car ride where my almond hair dripped on your car floor along with my tears as I told you I couldn’t carry on

I can remember how we stayed friends

The nights we now spend talking about sun kissed girls and daisy filled daydreams, and creating impossible fires to roast marshmallows with friends

The car rides we now share with 3 other bodies and lonely souls, that search for love just as frantically as us

The times where we are dared like 3rd graders to kiss, and how they don’t feel the same

As time changed we no longer have nicotine soaked breaths, but marijuana drenched exhales with vague hints of alcohol and teenage lust 

As we have grown up our childhood has come to an end, and we are no longer those two 9th graders who thought they were in love

We are juniors, 11th graders in high school, and our fake love is dead. Now we just have to try not to die along with it


Written By Madison Ammons

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