Sweet Memories of a Fake Love
I remember the low glow of the flickering fluorescent light in the concrete jungle
The way you walked beside me, letting your hand brush against mine
The pause you took just so you could look at me with that mysterious and loving look in your hazel eyes
The way you pulled me in close and kissed me softy when I asked what was wrong
I remember the pain you caused
The sleepless nights, the agony you created in my modest mind
The swimming pools I could have filled with my melancholy tears
The pounds that shed off of my body, the hours spent after every meal by the toilet because maybe then, I might become the doll made of glass you would never want to break
I remember the second chance given to you
That November night we stayed up till midnight in our fancy clothes and loved with our nicotine soaked breaths
The Christmas lights that wrapped around my fireplace, the smell of gingerbread and honey glazed smiles
The goodbye kiss in the car, not knowing it would be our last
I remember the pain I caused you
The fights we had about honesty and get love quick schemes
The distance I created because I wasn’t truly in love, just in love with idea of being in love with you
That rainy February car ride where my almond hair dripped on your car floor along with my tears as I told you I couldn’t carry on
I can remember how we stayed friends
The nights we now spend talking about sun kissed girls and daisy filled daydreams, and creating impossible fires to roast marshmallows with friends
The car rides we now share with 3 other bodies and lonely souls, that search for love just as frantically as us
The times where we are dared like 3rd graders to kiss, and how they don’t feel the same
As time changed we no longer have nicotine soaked breaths, but marijuana drenched exhales with vague hints of alcohol and teenage lustÂ
As we have grown up our childhood has come to an end, and we are no longer those two 9th graders who thought they were in love
We are juniors, 11th graders in high school, and our fake love is dead. Now we just have to try not to die along with it
Written By Madison Ammons